The 6 Worst R-Rated Comedies of the 1990s

Have you ever watched a comedy so painfully unfunny that you can actually hear your own brain cells packing their bags and leaving? That is the exact vibe of an R-rated '90s comedy that bombs. When an action movie is bad, you at least get a cool explosion or a cheesy stunt in the end. But when a comedy fails, you're just stuck in absolute silence, watching famous actors sweat through terrible scripts, and honestly, it is embarrassing to watch. The 1990s gave us plenty of these awkward disasters and movies that used their R-ratings apparently to be edgy, but in fact, they masked the fact that they completely forgot to write actual jokes. There were bizarre romantic thrillers, turned-accidental comedies, and prank shows that should have stayed on the radio. Here are six absolute zeros that will make you cringe instead of laugh. 6 'Loose Cannons' (1990) Image via Tri-Star Pictures When I read the premise of Loose Cannons for the first time I was so impressed and thought there was almost no way it could fail. It starts off with Ellis Fielding (Gene Hackman), a tough detective investigating a murder connected to Nazi pornography, and detective Grim (Dan Aykroyd), his partner who suffers from multiple personality disorder and can apparently transform into anyone at any moment. It sounds chaotic enough to become an entertaining disaster. Instead, it somehow becomes less coherent the longer it goes on. The biggest problem is that the film never decides what kind of comedy it wants to be. Sometimes it treats Grim's condition as broad slapstick. Other times, it tries to build genuine suspense around the investigation. Then, without warning, it shifts into bizarrely dark stuff for a buddy comedy. Watching Hackman, who seems to be trying to make an actual movie, share scenes with Aykroyd, who appears to be performing in a completely different one, becomes unintentionally more entertaining than anything the script actually intends. 5 ‘Senseless’ (1998) Image via Miramax Films Senseless was senseless. Jokes aside, the movie was about a college student named Darryl Witherspoon (Marlon Wayans) who volunteers for a medical experiment because he desperately needs money. The experiment enhances all five of his senses to absurd levels, which means he can suddenly hear conversations across campus, taste ingredients nobody else can identify, and experience pain in ways that quickly become unbearable. Even after having scope in the premise, the film never moves beyond it. Almost every joke boils down to Darryl experiencing a sensation more intensely than normal and then screaming about it. I kept waiting for the movie to do something unexpected with the concept, though it remained stuck in the same comedic gear from beginning to end. Wayans throws himself into every scene with enormous energy, which honestly makes the experience stranger because he is working much harder than the film deserves. 4 ‘The Jerky Boys’ (1995) Image via Buena Vista Pictures Distribution The strangest thing about The Jerky Boys is that it feels like somebody took a joke that lasts about three minutes and stretched it into a feature-length film. Johnny B. (Johnny Brennan) and Kamal (Kamal Ahmed) play exaggerated versions of themselves, two friends whose prank phone calls somehow drag them into a criminal conspiracy involving the Mafia. Writing that synopsis makes the film sound more structured than it actually is. I can easily say that the film is awful. Scenes begin, jokes happen, characters yell at each other, and then everyone moves on as if continuity no longer matters. The prank calls themselves occasionally produce a laugh because of their sheer stupidity, though the film surrounding them feels assembled from disconnected sketches that nobody bothered to organize. In the end, I honestly felt like I had watched several unfinished movies edited together by accident. 3 'The Real Blonde' (1997) Image via Paramount Pictures The Real Blonde follows struggling actor Joe (Matthew Modine) as he struggles with relationships, auditions, fashion culture, and a series of increasingly awkward encounters in New York City. I know it sounds like the kind of offbeat character comedy that could become a cult favorite. The problem is that the film never gives the audience a reason to care about anyone inhabiting its world, that is, there was absolutely no emotional connect with the characters. The most frustrating thing about the film is how determined it is to avoid showing anything meaningful. Characters spend long stretches discussing superficial people, superficial careers, and superficial relationships, which might have worked if the film had an actual point of view about any of it. But, the experience becomes strangely empty. I spent nearly two hours watching characters search for meaning in their lives while the movie itself had failed to find any. 2 'Exit to Eden' (1994) Image via Savoy Pictures There are bad movies, and then there are movies that leave you wondering how catastrophically wrong a film can go. Exit to Eden begins with undercover officers Fred Lavery (Dan Aykroyd) and Sheila Kingston (Rosie O'Donnell) investigating a murder connected to a private island resort centered around BDSM fantasies. Weird, right. The experience of watching Exit to Eden feels like watching three completely different films fight each other for which one’s the worst. One movie wants to be a crime comedy. Another wants to be a romantic fantasy. A third appears interested in satire. None of them win. Dan Aykroyd and Rosie O'Donnell spend much of the film performing broad comedy routines while everyone around them appears trapped in a different genre entirely. I genuinely think part of the reason this movie remains memorable is because audiences cannot believe it actually exists. 1 'Vampire in Brooklyn' (1995) Image via Paramount When I first learned that Vampire in Brooklyn starred Eddie Murphy and was directed by Wes Craven, I assumed there had to be something interesting about it. Murphy plays Maximillian (Eddie Murphy), a vampire searching for a woman with supernatural ancestry, detective Rita Veder (Angela Bassett), in modern-day Brooklyn. That combination of horror and comedy should have been difficult to mess up. There are moments when Murphy commits completely to Maximillian's charm and arrogance, and for a few seconds, the film gives you the hope that you can watch it. Then it immediately undercuts itself with jokes that do not land, awkward tonal shifts, substandard acting, and scenes that no one knows if they were supposed to be scary or funny. More than anything, I remember feeling confused while watching it.