The date was great – until he described his dream WhatsApp group

I liked him, but our goals clearly didn’t align (Picture: Liv Arnold) ‘My dream is to have a child in every country,’ said Ivan*, as he cut into his steak at dinner. I paused with my fork halfway to my mouth. Surely, I’d misheard him. We’d been on our first date for 30 minutes, sitting beneath a canopy of vines outside a farm-to-table restaurant in Phuket. Fairy lights glowed above us. He was a fitness influencer – so, when I asked what he wanted most out of life, I expected the usual. ‘Never eat a carb again.’ ‘Teach Arnold Schwarzenegger how to lift.’ The last thing I expected was to hear that he wanted to build an international family. Ask Metro Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about – powered by Metro and trusted publications. It was August 2025, and I was enjoying my first solo trip overseas from Australia. My home for two months was Thailand’s ‘Fitness Street’, a 1.5-kilometre stretch lined with Muay Thai gyms, CrossFit units and health cafés. I wasn’t searching for a relationship, but I wasn’t closed off either. Strangers became part of the adventure. The day of my date with Ivan, I had been walking along the ‘Fitness Street’, where meeting someone whose job involved taking his shirt off was inevitable. I was waiting at my favourite smoothie stand when Ivan waved. ‘What brings you here?’ he asked, his deep Russian accent wrapping around each word. Then, with a grin: ‘Would you have dinner with me tonight?’ My eyebrows rose. No endless messaging. No ‘I don’t know, what do you feel like doing?’. A rare display of initiative. I wasn’t searching for a relationship, but I wasn’t closed off either (Picture: Liv Arnold) ‘I do love a decisive man, Ivan,’ I replied. ‘Seven o’clock.’ He named the restaurant. ‘Walking distance from your hotel.’ I arrived on the dot. Ivan was already waiting, and he stood as I approached. ‘I thought I was the only one who arrives on time,’ I said. ‘I always get to dates early.’ He pulled out my chair. ‘The best tables go first.’ Seeing his display of old-fashioned manners, my attraction grew. Before the menus arrived, he glanced across the table. ‘Do you like coconut?’ I nodded. He turned to the waiter. ‘Two coconuts.’ Ivan told me he’d been raised by his grandmother in Russia and that he still called her regularly. He’d never known his father. His mother had died. I started mentally pencilling in date number two (Picture: Liv Arnold) I mentioned I’d written several books – to which he leaned in and said, ‘ambition is attractive’ – and I admitted I also wrote articles about sex. ‘That’s bold,’ he said. ‘People can be very uptight.’ Our conversation moved beyond the small talk that usually bored me, and I started mentally pencilling in date number two. We spoke about Russia and Ukraine. He opposed the war and carried guilt because many of his friends were Ukrainian. They’d reassured him they didn’t blame him. Then his expression changed. ‘I usually only tell women this on the second date,’ he said. ‘But it’s better to be upfront so nobody gets misled.’ He paused. ‘And you seem open-minded.’ My stomach tightened. ‘Here we go,’ I thought. It turned out he was seeing four women who were all free to date other people, too. Non-monogamy has never been for me, but I knew it worked for some people, so I wasn’t going to judge. But then came his next revelation. Even a year later, I think about that wonderfully weird man (Picture: Liv Arnold) ‘Do you want kids?’ I asked. His face lit up. ‘I want to earn enough money to have as many kids as possible,’ he replied. ‘Every woman who has my child will receive US$1 million’ – although, he added, he’d need to ‘scale’ as right now he could ‘only afford one’. ‘My only condition is that she’s intelligent and gives my child a good education,’ he continued. I started doing maths I had no business doing. Questions multiplied faster than girlfriends. ‘Won’t you want to be part of your kids’ lives?’ Then came the part that completely broke my brain. ‘Of course. One WhatsApp group. Me, the mothers and all the kids.’ I burst out laughing. His brow furrowed, before he joined in with my laughter. ‘Sometimes I don’t know what I say that’s so funny,’ he said, honestly. If anything, the evening confirmed I value a direct man who knows what he wants (Picture: Liv Arnold) Part of me wanted to know everything; but at the same time, my heart sank. I liked him, and our goals clearly didn’t align. As he asked for the bill, a familiar twinkle returned to his eyes. ‘You smile and laugh a lot. It’s contagious.’ He counted my qualities off on his fingers. ‘You’re curious. You don’t judge. We can talk about anything. ‘I don’t want to have sex with every woman I go on a date with,’ he continued, reaching into his pocket and placing a condom on the table. ‘I’m ready if you are.’ I couldn’t stop laughing. ‘I don’t want to be part of your WhatsApp group,’ I eventually managed to splutter. He accepted that with good grace and drove me back to my hotel on his scooter. Before I climbed off, he tapped the condom in his pocket. ‘Final chance. I’m good at sex.’ ‘I’m sure your other girlfriends would agree.’ We hugged goodbye. Nobody cried. Nobody got blocked. Progress. Even a year later, I think about that wonderfully weird man – and honestly, good for him. In a dating culture built on mixed signals, his honesty was incredibly refreshing. No love-bombing, no waiting until I was invested, no telling me what he thought I wanted to hear. If anything, the evening confirmed I value a direct man who knows what he wants. I just wasn’t looking to become Australia’s contribution to his global family. Still, I respected him. Not because I agreed with his choices – but because he gave me the chance to make my own. *Name has been changed Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing izzie.price@metro.co.uk. Share your views in the comments below. Arrow MORE: Our best sex ever was right after I found out she’d cheated Arrow MORE: I paid £20,000 for leg-breaking operation to add four inches to my height Arrow MORE: Woman has six ribs removed to get 23-inch ‘Barbie waist’