‘Suddenly, I was his boss’: How Brian and Wendy navigate work and marriage

They were friends who hooked up one night on a couch. Now they’re equally passionate about their businesses and their daughter.Entrepreneurs Brian Nguyen, 39, and Wendy Lin, 38, were best friends who fell in love. Now they’re passionate business partners and devoted parents to five-year-old daughter, Koby.Wendy: We met in 2004, hanging around the NSW State Library when we were studying for the HSC. We fell into the same friendship circle at uni – he was doing law at Sydney University, I did economics at the University of NSW – but always dated other people. My type was bad boys: older, with tattoos. Brian was top of the class and a little nerdy, although mischievous.The attraction was like a switch. I was 27 and going through a bad breakup. My parents were pushing me to figure out what I wanted in a partner. My mum thought Brian was good on paper, and his sister, by now a good friend of mine, said, “Why don’t you two get together?”Brian Nguyen and Wendy Lin. “These days, we figure out our potential flashpoints early,” says Brian. Wolter PeetersI started wearing make-up and feeling self-conscious when he’d pick me up. One night, after a birthday party, he was too drunk to drive and needed to sleep on my couch, which he’d always done. But I didn’t want to get off it – and we hooked up. We woke up thinking, “What the hell?” And then it happened again, sober. When we told everyone we were together, not even our exes were surprised. Eight months later, we were engaged.I’m the one who comes up with a crazy idea – let’s start a business! – and he asks how we’re going to get there. He forces me to think and slow down. I launched my fashion label [Lioness] in 2009 when I was 21. At the time, there were barely any e-commerce, fast-fashion brands and it grew quickly. In 2018, Brian quit his job as a government solicitor to join the company, but we were naive: there was no plan, no structure. Suddenly, I was his boss, telling him what to do and how to do it. It was really hard.He definitely wanted to quit at times. By 2023, we were parents to a two-year-old and we’d also just launched our second business [Asian supermarket Gong Grocer]. It was the busiest we’d ever been. Brian said, “Listen, I get that you’re ambitious, but you have to make time for marriage and parenting as well as work, otherwise what’s the point?” I was like, “Oh, my god! Are we getting divorced?” I remember thinking, Really listen to him.At Lioness, I’m MD and he’s CFO; at Gong Grocer, he’s MD and I’m brand director, but we don’t talk about work after 5pm. We have four calendars: one for each business, one for our marriage and one for Koby. Brian calls the shots at home. We do monthly date nights. He doesn’t let me get away with anything mediocre; we go out for a nice dinner and, if it’s an anniversary, he buys flowers.His upbringing was picturesque: a three-course dinner every Sunday, a big Christmas tree. In the early days of our relationship, these wholesome, Hallmark scenes would make me randomly burst into tears. My family’s from Beijing: it’s all study, work – no play.In 2020, before Koby, I had two miscarriages a few months apart. After the second one, I remember Brian saying, “Even if it’s just us two, it’s enough.” I felt so supported by him that I didn’t feel any strain or trauma. He came to all my obstetric appointments and even asked for a therapist recommendation for me. He was just so present. And, eventually, we got pregnant again.What can I say? Brian brings this first-date level of general impressiveness to our everyday world. He shows me how to live.The couple on their wedding day in 2016.@wendylioness/InstagramBrian: Wendy was the cool girl, the party girl – bad at studying, but great at asking people for notes – and she was always someone else’s girlfriend. But we had common interests and frequently went on holiday together. If I said, “Let’s go to New York”, she’d be like, “Yes, let’s!”One night, while we were on her couch, she draped her legs over me. I thought to myself, Man, I’m so attracted to you. It was like the room changed colour. We woke up the next morning and were like, “What do we do now?”Within six months, we’d moved in together. She didn’t want a cookie-cutter wedding, of course: we agreed we’d build a marquee at Fleet Steps, Mrs Macquarie’s Point [on Sydney harbour]. Guess who had to do it? [The council] needed about 20 documents: drawings, safety plan, crowd control. To this day, she probably doesn’t know how much work went into it. But that’s the nature of our relationship: she has the idea and I plan.Initially, I was helping Wendy run her business for free. And then I thought, “Why don’t I join her properly?” After all, she’s doing this for us and our family. The thing is, though, I love litigation – I know how to navigate rules to get an outcome for my client – and, suddenly, the things that gave me satisfaction were no longer in my life.In the first three years, I nearly quit five or six times, but it felt like giving up on us. My work just felt so unstructured and we’d fight. Wendy would say, “Maybe it’s meant to feel like that!” She’s always been a director-level person who makes commitments – “We can fix this!” – but I’d feel overburdened by the how. This was a key understanding for us in our relationship.Our next goal was to have a kid. In our entrepreneurial minds, because we’d planned it, we thought it would just happen. No one gets you ready for a miscarriage. All of a sudden, all of our friends came out of the woodwork: “I had one, too.” I just wish people would talk about it more. I’m really open about it.‘Our next goal was to have a kid ... because we planned it, we thought it would just happen.’Brian NguyenThese days, we figure out our potential flashpoints early. At the start, our emotions – frustration, anger, resentment – caused us to fight. Wendy would slam her laptop shut and walk out the door. We both went to therapy. Mindfulness has helped me observe the emotion before acting on it. I realised that being happy together isn’t as simple as just fixing stuff: it’s about being able to talk about difficult emotions and say, “Actually, I can see how the way I did that was hurtful.”When Wendy’s engrossed in something or has a challenge, she has this look. Then she goes into action. It’s in these moments that I’m so in awe of how powerful she is. I’m sure she’ll say I’m impressive and smart, but I feel like that’s my constant, whereas she has this great capacity for growth. She hates public speaking, so she’s now doing professional coaching; she’ll never tell you that.She’s at her most attractive when she finally resolves a problem or masters a new skill. It’s just the most joyous thing in the world to see.From our partners