The Whole World Is a Jury at a Murder Trial, Trying Not to Laugh at an AI Love Song

There’s nothing funny about the death of Ashley Flynn, a 37-year-old Ohio teacher and mother of two children gunned down earlier this year. Her family told Fox News in a statement back in February, “our hearts are shattered.” It’s 2026, however, and as is so often the case with tragedies lately, events are too absurd to maintain the seriousness needed to digest them properly. One might even say “Circumstances spoke louder than hearts ever could.” The attendees at this murder trial seem to think so anyway if their barely suppressed laughter is any indication: “Circumstances spoke louder than hearts ever could” is a lyric from not one but two AI-generated, uh, “songs”—audio files, at least—played in an Ohio courtroom Thursday as Ashley Flynn’s former husband, Caleb Flynn, stands trial for her murder. As TMZ notes, these songs are relevant to the prosecution’s side of the story. They were apparently created for Caleb Flynn’s mistress, and speak to his psychological state at the time of his wife’s death, and his awareness of the couple’s age gap. “Said love’s not that clean. But age never mattered when it was you and me, We were proof that forever was something feel, not see.” If you have a finely tuned ear for AI slop, as way too many of us do these days, you might be saying to yourself, hey, those don’t sound like auto-generated Suno or Udio lyrics. They’re not saccharine and frictionless enough. They’re actually too weird! That may be because—as Caleb Flynn apparently claims—he wrote them himself, along with the melody, made a scratch recording with his computer mic, and ran that through an ElevenLabs song creator. “It messed up the outro as it’s supposed to be done and the vocals aren’t exactly how I want it, it was a little rock-ier at times but the melody is correct,” he apparently told his mistress in a text message. “I tried to sing it with passion and AI took it and went a little extreme.” Indeed, Caleb Flynn is a singer, and his actual singing voice, which you can also hear on YouTube, is higher-pitched and not traditionally rock-inflected at all. He was even an American Idol contestant in 2013, as you can see from this interview, in which he talks about how much he loves his wife, but also says, “When I want something, I’m gonna go after it.” Of the two clips, the one circulating more heavily online is a bit rock-y, and sounds nothing like Caleb Flynn. AI voices have no compunctions about “belting” any old lyrics you stick in there—fire-hosing the listener with what is probably supposed to be a Lukas Graham-style emotional barrage. Consequently, the song is torture to listen to, both as trial evidence, and as music. “I don’t know if I’m ready to listen to this yet. I’m sorry,” Flynn’s mistress apparently texted back. This text exchange had been read to the jury before the song played. Video of the trial is being streamed live, and when the audio is played, the camera starts on Caleb Flynn, who looks like someone who recently lost the cursed amulet that had been granting him vitality at great cost to his soul. But the camera operator takes the liberty of panning around the room from one trial viewer to another as the seemingly endless song drones on. Imagine having to stay in character as an impartial juror, tasked with deciding the fate of your fellow citizen, and being forced to listen to that. Those faces tell you everything you need to know about how the trial is going for the defense. Is it funny? Unfortunately, yes. I’m not sure I’m the first to say this, but the words “Satan’s I Think You Should Leave sketch,” spring to mind when I watch it. I once lived for cringe comedy as pitch black as this, but apparently someone in about 2014 wished on a monkey’s paw for the whole world to become an episode of Peep Show, and it’s gone on too long. I’d like to go back to a world where tragedies are just sad. But this jury’s pained facial expressions are now the world’s most average facial expressions. Please, God, make it stop.