The ‘intensely arousing’ 2010 sex trend about to surge in popularity among men

Denying yourself an orgasm can be a huge turn on (Picture: Getty Images) It might feel like we live in a more sexualised society than ever. Bonnie Blue continues to make headlines with her controversial stunts, and the winner of a masturbate-a-thon just revealed how he self-pleasured for 10 hours straight. But, it’s chastity that seems to be the ‘intensely arousing’ sexual fantasy gaining traction among men. Why? We’re approaching ‘Locktober‘. The portmanteau refers to the annual month-long male chastity challenge that involves so much more than simply avoiding sex. It sees men locking up their penises in chastity cages and giving the key to their dominant partner, so they’re completely at their mercy. Locktober became big on Twitter around 2010, when the hashtag took off, led by key chastity wearers of the time. A sex toy company then used the term for marketing and it’s been a mainstay in fetish communities ever since. It might sound niche, but interest in chastity has tripled since the beginning of the decade — with searches up 38% over the past two years alone, according to porn site Clips4Sale. During the month of October, when Locktober occurs, searches for chastity content surge by 40%, with Brits, Americans and Spaniards consuming this porn the most. In fact, in Nebraska chastity is the number one search in the state. How do people practice Locktober? The dedicated Locktober SubReddit sees 10,000 weekly visitors, with men posting images of their penises in chastity cages, while their female partner dangles the key in front of them. ‘Some people may take part in Locktober to explore abstinence, but others may be exploring orgasm denial,’ Sex expert Ness Cooper tells Metro. Sign up to The Hook-Up, Metro's sex and dating newsletter Love reading juicy stories like this? Need some tips for how to spice things up in the bedroom? Sign up to The Hook-Up and we'll slide into your inbox every week with all the latest sex and dating stories from Metro. We can't wait for you to join us! A lot of the allure comes from the power dynamics involved (Picture: Getty Images) ‘It can be a way of exploring power dynamics within a kink or BDSM relationship. Some perform Locktober to prove their devotion to their Dom or Domme. Ask Metro Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about – powered by Metro and trusted publications. ‘Often it’s a submissive wearer with a Domme overseeing the chastity, but sometimes it can be used in other kink dynamics, such as brat and Dom, where the brat is placed into the device so they can fight against conflicting urges and purposely play-up as a form of psychological or erotic play. ‘Other Doms place their subs in chastity as a form of erotic humiliation.’ Ness adds that some people even use a dedicated chastity postal service where the key is sent to a stranger and the only interaction they have is weekly instructions on removal or tasks they need to perform whilst wearing a chastity device. Edging or gooning can be part of the process, too, as some men look to explore the concept of controlling their orgasms. Why is it a turn on? While you can’t have penetrative sex with a chastity device on, that doesn’t mean the act itself isn’t alluring. ‘Participants aren’t taking a break from their sexuality,’ psychosexual therapist Becky Crepsley-Fox tells Metro. ‘They’re eroticising the restraint itself. ‘For some people being controlled, and told when you can and can’t do something, can be intensely arousing. Anticipation builds, and desire that can’t be acted on often feels bigger and more charged. Wearing the device is a constant physical reminder of the dynamic. ‘For some, it’s also about surrender. Handing over control of something as personal as your orgasm can feel freeing, and intimate.’ This trend is commonly practised by heterosexual cis men, known as the wearers, while a partner gets satisfaction from holding the key and being in control. The risks and practicing Locktober safely Of course, wearing a cage around your genitals can sometimes be uncomfortable. ‘Chastity devices can rub and this can lead to infections, sweat rashes, as well sores,’ Ness explains. ‘Often things like Sudocrem can help make wearing the devices more comfortable. It can get a bit uncomfortable to wear (Picture: Getty Images) ‘Foreskins can alsobecome stuck in some cases, but lubricant can help reduce this – although it’s best to remove the device if this happens. ‘If you experience swelling you should instantly remove the device to avoid permeant damage.’ Then, as in any sexual practice where there’s a power dynamic, you need to discuss consent, boundaries and what you both expect. ‘First, decide whether you’re doing this solo or with a partner. Then talk it through properly,’ Becky says. ‘How long will the device be worn, and will it be all the time or only during sex? ‘Is orgasm allowed at all, and if so, when? What’s your safe word, and what’s your aftercare plan?’ Becky suggests picking your chastity device carefully, too. ‘Some enclose the penis and testicles, and others restrict just the penis. They come in different sizes. If you’re new, go for a roomier fit. If you’re experienced and enjoy the pressure, you might try smaller.’ What’s important is to build up slowly, wearing it for a few hours before you attempt Locktober, and if you’re new, maybe you won’t want to wear it overnight. If you’re new, build up slowly. Try wearing it during play rather than for the whole month, and avoid overnight wear at first. That gives your body time to adjust. Deals of the Day I tried L'Oréal Paris's new PDRN serum and my skin looked glossier after one use This new Cricut gadget turns your favourite photos into stickers in minutes From kitchen hatches to burgundy walls – the biggest home trends for 2027 Oodie’s cosy blanket sale has arrived just in time for Christmas shopping Save over £700 on Simba's top-rated mattresses in this limited-time sale And, Becky pleads, always keep a spare key or emergency release within reach. Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk Arrow MORE: The three-word phrase women use during sex that makes men ‘feel like a failure’ Arrow MORE: The ‘disgusting and stinky’ fetish men and women find super attractive Arrow MORE: How long the average guy lasts during sex, according to their age The Hook Up Metro's hottest newsletter, with juicy stories and tips for spicing things up in the bedroom. 18+