'Perfect' Queen Mary is sensationally criticised for 'unrelatable' weak point - as Australian expert rubbishes claims it could 'spell her downfall'

Queen Mary's famously controlled public image has been labelled her potential 'weak point', sparking a leading Australian etiquette expert to fiercely reject this criticism. The debate began after Spanish protocol and etiquette expert María José Gómez Verdú suggested that Mary's extraordinary self-control could ultimately work against her. After more than two decades in the Danish royal family, Mary is seen as a polished and dependable royal, rarely letting public emotion overwhelm her. But Gómez Verdú argued that while such composure has made Mary a formidable representative, it could also hinder public connection.'The perfect character that makes her so solid can also be her weakest point,' she told Spanish publication Lecturas.She suggested Mary's demeanour risked being interpreted as emotional distance, warning that showing more of her human side may become increasingly necessary. Australian etiquette expert and royal commentator Jo Hayes, however, firmly disagrees. 'It is this "self-control" that is the very thing that has stood Mary in good stead for the entirety of her royal career, and will continue to do so for the rest of her life,' she told the Daily Mail. Queen Mary's famously controlled public image has been labelled her potential 'weak point', sparking a leading Australian etiquette expert to fiercely reject this criticism 'It is this "self-control" that is the very thing that has stood Mary in good stead for the entirety of her royal career, and will continue to do so for the rest of her life,' Jo Hayes (pictured) said Why Mary's composure is under scrutinyRoyal watchers often cite one of the most intensely scrutinised periods of Mary's marriage as evidence of her poise. In late 2023, photographs emerged of then-Crown Prince Frederik in Madrid with Mexican socialite Genoveva Casanova, prompting widespread speculation. Casanova denied any romantic involvement, yet throughout the media storm, Mary continued public engagements without addressing the rumours.To Gómez Verdú, this restraint demonstrated both Mary's strength and a potential problem: an impeccably controlled royal risks appearing inaccessible. This raises an important question for the modern monarchy. Royals now operate in an era where every appearance is dissected on social media, and audiences expect public figures to be 'authentic' and 'relatable'. Yet, Mary belongs to an institution where revealing too much has historically caused more trouble than revealing too little. Hayes believes expecting a queen to abandon restraint fundamentally misunderstands the role. Royal watchers often cite one of the most intensely scrutinised periods of Mary's marriage as evidence of her poise 'Restraint is a key word' Hayes, founder of EtiquetteExpert.Org and a royal commentator with postgraduate research in modern etiquette, maintains that emotional discipline is central to royal life'"Restraint" is a key word in the official "training" of any royal. Restraint of speech, restraint of emotions - specifically in the public eye,' she said.She explained that letting off steam in private is essential for royals, but public displays of emotion would only invite scandal. Hayes cited the British royal family's maxim: 'Never complain, never explain.' 'I would add one more word to this, for any royal: "Don't complain, don't explain, don't exclaim",' she said.'Can you imagine? The papers would go into an absolute frenzy if Mary were photographed leaving the palace in tears.' Hayes argues there is a crucial distinction between an influencer or celebrity cultivating relatability and a monarch representing a nation Queen Mary is pictured at daughter Isabella's graduation in June alongside King FrederikDoes a modern queen need to be more relatable? This disagreement underscores a broader challenge facing today's royal families. Qualities once considered essential - discretion, formality, emotional restraint - can clash with a culture that values vulnerability and openness. Hayes argues there is a crucial distinction between an influencer or celebrity cultivating relatability and a monarch representing a nation. 'Nations want and need their regents to be calm and "in control". Especially in times of war, global uncertainty and social unrest. It gives citizens a sense of order and assurance,' she said.She pointed to Queen Elizabeth II as the ultimate example of composure throughout decades of adversity, a tradition followed by King Charles III. 'Mary's self-control has helped keep the Danish monarchy - and, no doubt, her family - on a steady even keel in the midst of what is, undoubtedly, a life with considerable pressure,' she said.Join the discussionShould royals show more emotion or is dignified self-control what we need from our monarchs?What's your view? Hayes also dismissed the idea that Mary's composure prevents the public from seeing her warmth 'She doesn't come across as emotionally distant' Hayes also dismissed the idea that Mary's composure prevents the public from seeing her warmth. 'She doesn't come across as emotionally distant - but rather as someone in control of her emotions. That's a trait that ought to be applauded,' she said.Mary transformed from a Tasmanian marketing executive who met a Danish prince in a Sydney pub into Queen of Denmark, adapting to a new institution, language, and country. That journey required learning when to speak, when to react, and when to reveal nothing at all.The contrasting assessments of Mary's behaviour reveal the impossible balancing act facing modern royal women: appear too controlled and risk being called cold; reveal too much and risk accusations of lacking dignity.'Despite what this Spanish etiquette expert says, Mary's calm, composed demeanour is befitting of a royal - especially a Queen,' Hayes concluded.'She is well-liked among the other European royals - and her own people, the Danes, absolutely love her. And so do her "first" people - us Aussies,' she said.