NBC’s Chloe Melas Opens Up About Parenting With Chronic Illness in Exclusive Book Excerpt

Chloe Melas, NBC News entertainment correspondent, has been living with a type of inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) called ulcerative colitis (UC) for 15 years. UC causes sores in the colon, leading to diarrhea, bloody stool, pain and cramping, urgency to pass stool, and more. Over the years, Melas has endured surgeries, hospitalizations and countless colonoscopies due to her chronic illness.In her new book, “The Girl’s Guide to Guts: Everything Your Doc Didn’t Tell You (But Your Bestie Would),” she and co-author Judy Batalion, who also has UC, offer honest advice about how to navigate these challenging symptoms when life gets busy due to work, kids, dating and beyond.Melas shared an exclusive excerpt from the book, out Nov. 10, with TODAY.com.The cover of 'The Girl's Guide to Guts.'Courtesy Penguin Random HouseRead an Excerpt From ‘The Girl’s Guide to Guts’ by Chloe Melas and Judy BatalionGetting pregnant and giving birth can be challenging, but so can taking care of those children (or others) when you are ill.Living with ulcerative colitis as a parent is a little like trying to pitch a tent in the middle of a tornado. The odds are pretty much stacked against you.Most days, I think I do a pretty good job of putting on a brave face. Mornings are dedicated to making sure the kids’ lunches are ready, their homework is done, and reminding them for the fourth time to brush their teeth — all while I’m checking countless emails and trying to make my train to Manhattan. On the outside, it probably looks like any other family. On the inside, I’m thinking: I haven’t had a bowel movement yet ... should I drink that second cup of coffee? Do I feel a twinge of pain in my lower left abdominal?IBD is a thief in many ways. It steals moments. It steals time. It takes up mental and emotional space that I wish I was channeling towards my loved ones. I’ve missed parts of my kids’ sports games because I couldn’t be too far from home. I’ve cut an errand so close that I raced home, desperately hoping I wouldn’t get pulled over for going above the speed limit just so that I could make it to the bathroom.And then there are the warm baths in the middle of a Saturday afternoon. To me, they’re relief. A reset. A way to calm inflammation in my body and just breathe for a minute. But I sometimes wonder if the kids are going to remember that I was in the bathroom ... a lot. The hardest part isn’t even the day-to-day discomfort. It’s the mom guilt.What I’m learning is that parenting with a chronic illness forces you to redefine what “showing up” looks like and learn how to give myself some grace.My boys may not understand it now, but one day I hope they know that even on the days when my body makes things really freaking hard, my heart never stops loving them and my mind never stops thinking about them. I’m still there for the bedtime stories, the hugs, the late-night cases of the giggles, and the million questions about megalodons. IBD may have its rainy-ass days, but it’s not going to win, because I’m not going to let it. In some ways, I think I may even be a better version of myself because of the hard times, and I hope to pass my resilience on to Leo and Luke.Chloe Melas.Sophie ElgortChloe’s Tips for Being a Mother During a Chronic Illness Flare1. Ask for help. Whether it’s a family member, babysitter, or friend, be honest that you need some support. When weekends roll around, they are often jam-packed with sports, and sometimes I’m stuck in the bathroom with mere minutes to spare before I run the risk of my sons being late to their practices or games. That’s when my mom tribe becomes so essential. Shout-out to Sara, Alicia, Paula, Jackie, and Jessyka, who have handled countless drop-offs and pickups when I’ve been indisposed.2. Keep your routine. Take your medicine, stool softeners, and any supplements at the same time every day. I’ve found that my routine, including drinking my morning coffee and eating my Greek yogurt for breakfast, has to be within a certain window or it throws my body off.3. Have an exit strategy. Is it weird that I’ve dreamed of a car where the seat can turn into an actual toilet? Yes, this is an actual thought of mine when it comes to long car rides. Whether it’s the soccer field, gymnasium, or spring break trip, look for the nearest restroom and bring a change of underwear.