My man promised to change after red flags surfaced before our wedding & I believed him, then he raped me a year later

KERSTIN Dunkley suffered four years of hell at the hands of brutal Conor Dunkley after meeting him as at 19-year-old. But when he promised to change she truly believed that he meant it. Kerstin Dunkley was raped, strangled and abused by her husband Credit: SWNS Conor Dunkley was found guilty of controlling or coercive behaviour and rape Credit: SWNS But just a year later sick Dunkley ended up strangling and raping her. The pair met in Auckland, New Zealand, in 2019 while they were both on holiday. Sign up for the Fabulous newsletter Thank you! Kerstin admits that up until that point she had few previous boyfriends via dating app Tinder and was instantly besotted. But after committing to a relationship and returning back to the UK she was controlled as well as being mentally and verbally abused, pushed, and slapped, by Dunkley who she had believed was the ‘love of her life’. When they married in 2022 he promised he would “change” and she hoped they could start a new life together. Kerstin met Dunkley on Tinder while they were both holidaying in New Zealand Credit: SWNS Kerstin describes Conor as an “evil and disgusting person” who ruled over her life Credit: SWNS But the abuse continued after they wed and had a daughter together later the same year. But just over a 12 months later Dunkley brutally raped her after she refused him sex and strangled to the point where she almost passed out. Kerstin, who is from Germany, spoke out after Dunkley, 31, from Wales, was jailed for six years at Chester Crown Court after being convicted of controlling or coercive behaviour, rape, and criminal damage. Most read in Fabulous Now, aged 28, Kerstin is thriving but has chosen to waive her anonymity to encourage other women to speak out against domestic abuse. She said: “He deserves his time in prison as he is a he is a evil and disgusting person.” “He ruled over my life for four years, and I am glad it is no longer. “He promised to change so many times but his cruelty was in fact never ending. “He never once cared about me or our child, but I couldn’t see it as was young and besotted by him.” Kerstin met Dunkley over a dating app in March 2019 while she was working as an au pair in New Zealand on a gap year from her school studies. She said they “hit it off” straight away over the app as she said they had “a lot in common”. Kerstin said: “He was charming and handsome and seemed exactly what I was looking for at that period of my life, someone to have fun with. “We had the same hobbies like walking in nature and being around friends. “We flirted and he made me feel good.” In the hope of a fresh start, the couple tried for a baby and had a daughter together Credit: SWNS Kerstin is encouraging other women to speak out against domestic abuse Credit: SWNS Their first date was at a house party and she she had “no reason to fear” Dunkley as he was “kind and very friendly” and over the next two months they grew closer before they became exclusive that May. She said: “When we became a couple the first signs of controlling behaviour started as he would ask where I was at all times and if I was with other boys. “Looking back it then started to feel like he became jealous of my friends, but I thought at the time he was just be protective.” This including one time he stopped her from going on a week long girls holiday to the country’s south island. In July the couple left the country and Kerstin took him back home to Frankfurt, Germany, where they stayed at her family home. During this time he became more aggressive and controlling and he began drinking often, according to Kerstin. She said: “He wouldn’t believe or trust what I was telling him when I would translate conversations from family and friends. “His jealously became a bit worse and he began thinking that I was cheating on him. Domestic abuse - how to get help DOMESTIC abuse can affect anyone - including men - and does not always involve physical violence. Here are some signs that you could be in an abusive relationship: Emotional abuse – Including being belittled, blamed for the abuse – gaslighting – being isolated from family and friends, having no control over your finances, what you where and who you speak to Threats and intimidation – Some partners might threaten to kill or hurt you, destroy your belongings, stalk or harass you Physical abuse – This can range from slapping or hitting to being shoved over, choked or bitten. Sexual abuse – Being touched in a way you do not want to be touched, hurt during sex, pressured into sex or forced to have sex when you do not consent. If any of the above apply to you or a friend, you can call these numbers: The Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge on 0808 2000 247 for free at any time, day or night Men who are being abused can call Respect Men’s Advice Line on 0808 8010 327 or ManKind on 0182 3334 244 Those who identify as LGBT+ can ring Galop on 0800 999 5428 If you are in immediate danger or fear for your life, always ring 999 Remember, you are not alone. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience domestic abuse over the course of their lifetime. Every 30 seconds the police receive a call for help relating to domestic abuse. “I thought he was acting out because he was lonely and couldn’t speak the language, I had my pink glasses on and thought he would go back to being his old self like in New Zealand when we moved to the UK.” They moved to Dunkley’s grandparents house in Wales in October 2019 and he would later propose to her in December. She said: “We had just moved to a new home in Chester and we were in the living room with his mum and stepdad present. “We were all sat on the sofas watching TV when he dropped to one knee in front of me. “I said yes because I loved him and hadn’t seen any of the proper abuse as abuse yet.” She ended up getting jobs in hospitality to help pay the bills. But, according to Kerstin, Dunkley would think she would be flirting with staff and ended up forcing her to leave roles until they ended up working on a farm which she said was a job “she loved”. Kerstin said: “Being so young and not really being in a proper relationship before, I thought this was what it was supposed to be. “We were constantly arguing, he would tell me I wasn’t attractive enough for him, but we would make up. “I didn’t see them as red flags as I was completely wrapped around his finger and I loved him.” The mum said they moved around Wales, Merseyside, and Cheshire, working different jobs on farms and living in free accommodation they were provided. According to Kerstin, whenever she got paid Dunkley would take all of her money. He also cut her off from seeing friends and family being jealous of getting Kerstin’s attention, the court heard. He then began shouting and swearing at her across the fields they were working and would give her week long silent treatments and make her “beg for forgiveness”. The relationship became physical in the November 2021 when he pushed her out of the front door of a caravan they were living in and made her sleep in their car, the court heard. A month later he would slap her for the first time while his parents were in the new house they have moved too in Chester. In an attempt to start fresh the couple tried for a baby the following year and Kerstin fell pregnant in March 2022. They then decided to get married four months later on July 1. She said: “He made promises that he would be better and look after and support me and I believed him like every time before especially because this time we were making such a commitment. “We had a small celebration at a restaurant later that evening with our friends and family. “I didn’t ask my parent’s for approval, and I think that is why I stayed with him for so long as they weren’t very fond of him. “But he had convinced me that we were going to live like a happy family and he would be a great husband and dad. “I believed him as I loved him still after what he put me through, I was just young and naive. “But it didn’t last and this pulled the wool from my eyes as it felt like he didn’t care about me or the baby.” By June 2023 Kerstin said she had enough of the relationship and made plans to leave. Kerstin said the abuse left her a “exhausted” and she began “worried she would never be able to leave”. She said he waived her legal right to anonymity to let victims know they are “not alone” and you can still “live a normal life after abuse”. But tragically in June Dunkley raped and strangled her, the court heard. Kerstin said: “He began encouraging anal sex and just because I didn’t want to argue I would agreed to it. “On this occasion I told him no and went up to our bedroom to check on our child. “He followed me upstairs and forced himself on me, I begged him to stop but he didn’t care. “After he was done he then pinned me to the bed and strangled me to the point I was about to pass out but I managed to push him away. “I feared for mine and my child’s life that day.” She stayed with him “out of fear” until August 17 when he “threatened to kill her”, the court was told. Then the next morning, August 18, while Dunkley was asleep Kerstin packed a suitcase and fled the house with her child. She was taken in by a hostel and was contacted by social worker as she had a child. The social worker then contact the police after she informed them of the abuse she faced from Dunkley. She gave statement in October 2023 and Cheshire Police launched an investigation and he was later arrested and charged. Dunkley, from Fern Hill, Benllech, Tyn Y Gongl, pleaded guilty to criminal damage. But was subsequently was found guilty of controlling or coercive behaviour and rape by a jury in April this year after a three day trial. Alongside his prison sentence he was placed on the sex offenders register, ordered to pay a victim surcharge and given a restraining order. Kerstin said it was like having a “weight lifter off her shoulders” after he was jailed but “wishes” he got a longer sentence. Following the sentencing DC Ashley Frowe said: “Dunkley’s behaviour towards this woman was vile, unforgivable and callous. “The sentence reflects the seriousness of his crimes and that behaving in this way will not be tolerated. “I’d urge anyone in a similar position to contact us, or a support agency, to help them break free. Don’t suffer in silence.” Comment now