My ex husband was convicted of domestic abuse…but I had to pay over £100K to get him out of my home

ANNABELLE Boucher thought she’d found her perfect match when she fell for the charms of attentive David Rogers. Her new man instantly hit it off with her kids, and before long, the builder had moved into her family home. Annabelle Boucher thought she had found her knight in shining armour with David Rogers Credit: SWNS David later displayed controlling behaviour that left Annabelle fearing for her life Credit: Supplied Yet what started off as a dream was soon to turn into a living nightmare. Mum-of-two Annabelle, 48, tells The Sun: “He came into my life like a knight in shining armour. Sign up for the Fabulous newsletter Thank you! “He would do everything for me. “I’d be on my own with my children. I thought this would make our life so much better.” What began as a budding romance slowly turned into something far darker. For the relationship would see Annabelle suffer years of coercive and controlling behaviour that left her fearing for her life and feeling imprisoned in her own home. To finally break free of David’s clutches, she was even forced to hand over £75,000 to him in their divorce settlement. She also had to pay over £30,000 to cover her own legal fees. Most read in Fabulous After being left with “no other option” but to pay him to get out, Annabelle now wants the divorce laws changed so that other domestic abuse survivors can leave a toxic marriage without being hit with a huge bill at the end of it. David’s unpredictable moods left Annabelle living on a knife edge Credit: SWNS Annabelle was afraid to speak to other people in David’s presence Credit: SWNS Annabelle’s ordeal began after the couple met at a pub in 2017. By 2018 she had moved dad-of-three David, 61, in to her place and the couple began planning a life together. Yet shortly before they were married, in June 2019, Annabelle got a glimpse of David’s true colours. “He showed a bit of controlling behaviour a fortnight before the wedding,” she says. “But I thought it was a one-off thing.” It was only after they were married, that Annabelle saw David for who he really was. The couple were running a pub together. One evening, a drunken customer jokingly asked Annabelle for her phone number. To her horror, jealous David, from Norton-sub-Hamdon, Somerset, flew into a rage, while she was driving them home. Pulling the handbrake on while they were travelling at around 45mph, he shouted: “Why didn’t you tell him you were married?”. When they got home, David’s rage continued. Then he threw water from a pint glass into her face. “I thought it was better to be quiet,” Annabelle, from Chiselborough, Somerset, says. “He filled it up again and did it again. “There was no talking to him. Once he got something in his head, you just had to stay quiet and see it play out.” David’s unpredictable moods left Annabelle living on a knife edge. “You never knew what would set him off,” she says. “I was living in fear.” Over time, the abuse became increasingly psychological and controlling. Annabelle was afraid to speak to other people in his presence, fearing it would result in arguments that could continue for days. A couple of times she asked him to leave, but he threatened to take everything away from her, leaving her feeling “imprisoned.” Annabelle was forced to hand over £75,000 to David in their divorce settlement and £30,000 in legal fees Credit: SWNS He pleaded guilty to controlling and coercive behaviour at Taunton Crown Court in April 2026 Credit: SWNS Determined to control every aspect of her life, David started turning up, wherever she was, including to her hair salon. He also bombarded her with texts. “If I had my nails done 15 minutes into the appointment he would start messaging me,” she says. As the behaviour intensified, Annabelle struggled to see a way out. Eventually, she confided in a friend. “I looked at her and said, ‘He is going to kill me one way or another’,” she says. The pal contacted police, beginning the process that ultimately led to Rogers’ arrest. When officers first got involved, Annabelle was terrified. “At that point I had a complete panic attack,” she says. “I didn’t know what was going to happen next.” David was arrested on February 24, 2024. Not wanting to see “the smug look on his face,” Annabelle chose not to attend the sentencing hearing. He pleaded guilty to controlling and coercive behaviour at Taunton Crown Court in April 2026. He was given a 20-month suspended prison sentence and a five-year restraining order. But Annabelle says the conviction could not undo the financial and emotional damage caused by the controlling relationship. The riding school owner says: “It sneaks up on you. You start thinking it’s normal, and then I realised it wasn’t. “ I didn’t know how to leave because he was in my family home. “I ran my business from home. This is my children’s home, and I couldn’t get him to leave. “A couple of times I asked him to leave. I felt there was no escape. “His behaviour was just becoming more and more, and it felt like it never ended. I wanted my children to be free more than myself. “I felt like I was to blame for him being here. I thought the only way was to not be here anymore.” David refused to leave. While the criminal proceedings were ongoing, the couple’s divorce was finalised in September 2025. Annabelle knew there was going to be a financial split with the divorce, but she had always kept her family home and David had kept his. The pair had also always paid for bills separately. Yet, Annabelle still found herself forking out £75,000 to David and more than £30,000 in her own legal costs of her own. Domestic abuse - how to get help DOMESTIC abuse can affect anyone - including men - and does not always involve physical violence. Here are some signs that you could be in an abusive relationship: Emotional abuse – Including being belittled, blamed for the abuse – gaslighting – being isolated from family and friends, having no control over your finances, what you where and who you speak to Threats and intimidation – Some partners might threaten to kill or hurt you, destroy your belongings, stalk or harass you Physical abuse – This can range from slapping or hitting to being shoved over, choked or bitten. Sexual abuse – Being touched in a way you do not want to be touched, hurt during sex, pressured into sex or forced to have sex when you do not consent. If any of the above apply to you or a friend, you can call these numbers: The Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge on 0808 2000 247 for free at any time, day or night Men who are being abused can call Respect Men’s Advice Line on 0808 8010 327 or ManKind on 0182 3334 244 Those who identify as LGBT+ can ring Galop on 0800 999 5428 If you are in immediate danger or fear for your life, always ring 999 Remember, you are not alone. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience domestic abuse over the course of their lifetime. Every 30 seconds the police receive a call for help relating to domestic abuse. “He even took control of the divorce proceedings,” she says. “It’s unbelievable how the law stands at the moment. “What has been incredibly difficult to accept is that, although the behaviour was serious, there is a very high bar for conduct to influence the financial outcome of a divorce. “My experience of the abuse did not simply disappear when the marriage ended. “I then had to spend £33,000 on legal fees fighting over the financial settlement, including having to defend assets that I had owned before the marriage, which my former husband was seeking to have treated as part of an equal 50/50 division. “Despite everything I had already been through, the divorce process became another lengthy and financially devastating battle. “Financially I could not continue to fight and had to settle at £75,000 as a lump-sum payment, leaving me facing significant financial consequences on top of the emotional impact of the abuse.” Despite David’s conviction, she said no sentence could undo the damage caused to her family either. “The judicial system is what it is,” she says. “Nothing that he got was ever going to change what happened to us.” Now rebuilding her life, Annabelle has found support from a new partner. “He has been absolutely amazing,” she says. “I never thought I’d want a man in my life ever again.” But she hopes sharing her experience will encourage others experiencing abuse to seek help. For years, David made life “hell” for her and her children. Now her sense of freedom has returned. She says: “Just him not being there is the beginning of feeling relief and freedom and thinking that part of your horrendous life is over.” Her advice to others is not to suffer in silence. “Speak to the police because the police will help you,” she says. “When you’re in that situation, you’re scared. You always hope it will get better, but it doesn’t. “I always thought unless I was battered and bruised, I couldn’t do anything. But it doesn’t have to be that you’ve got bruises to show. You can stay in your own home and police can protect you.” Comment now