James Haskell: Having a daughter is an emotional hand grenade

My Sporting Life is The i Paper’s look behind the curtain at what drives sports stars to greatness. James Haskell never wanted to be a rugby player, but went on to win 77 England caps, tour with the British & Irish Lions and claim a Grand Slam. He reflects on career regrets, the injury that derailed his ambitions and how fatherhood has changed him. I never wanted to be a rugby player Making my England debut was a real highlight, as I never thought I would get the opportunity to do that. So to do it at the Principality in front of a Welsh crowd with the roof closed was a pretty special moment. Six Nations glory was a world away from his childhood ambitions growing up (Photo: Getty) But nothing beats winning the Grand Slam in 2016 in France after losing three Grand Slam deciders previously. It really kind of cements you as in a different league because of how hard it is to win the Grand Slam. And we nearly did it back-to-back, which was very frustrating. I’ve probably done myself a disservice I’ve made more of a joke out of my career as a player than I should’ve done. I think in the age of Henry Pollock, we should be able to talk ourselves up and have confidence. And why not? When you look like me, you can rub people up the wrong way. And I think to appease people, you can ultimately be self-deprecating. I’ve made so many jokes about my career that I forget that as time’s gone on, people either didn’t watch it or haven’t seen the highlights.So I think I have done myself a disservice in terms of how good I was and what I achieved. I was one of the first players to play in most of the leagues in the world, to get 77 caps for England, go on Lions tours and be respected by the number of coaches and teammates I played with. Whether the media liked me wasn’t necessarily relevant. If I could play one game again, it would be the 2017 Premiership final And I would literally punch Nathan Hughes in the face before he gave that penalty away against Exeter Chiefs. Or I’d tackle him myself so we won the game, instead of going 116 minutes and then losing on a scrum collapse, because that was a chance to win a Premiership when I was a senior player for Wasps. I love Nathan, great player, great man. But I’ve never forgiven him for that. Particularly as we were all screaming, “Get your hands off it!” I wish I’d enjoyed it more and not put so much pressure on myself Haskell’s physicality made him a formidable presence in the back row (Photo: Getty) I would have kept the same attitude, but I would have definitely seen it as more of a game and not worried too much about what people thought or what was going on in terms of playing. And I would have been way smarter in terms of how I looked after myself because I overtrained. I mean, look, rugby players overplay – they play too many games, not enough meaningful games. They don’t get rested enough. You know, playing 11 months a year and then taking and giving four weeks, of which you only take two off, is insanity. So I would have been smarter. I would have said no more often to stupid things that rugby teams often ask you to do – playing hurt, forcing yourself to play when you didn’t need to. My foot just fell apart The worst injury I had was 2017, actually, in Australia on that whitewash tour we did. I ruptured my plantar plate in my left foot and the whole big toe ligaments, and it basically took me nine months to get back from it. My foot was never right after that. It sort of coincided with me playing a bit for Wasps, then going to Northampton Saints, and then ultimately not being able to play as much as I wanted or make the World Cup in 2019. I wish I’d gone on that [South Africa] tour because I played that 2018 Six Nations, and that was my last game against Ireland in a Grand Slam-winning game for them and a loss for us. But I played well, and it was annoying, and then I just was never able to keep it together, fitness-wise. I bumped into The Rock once at an airport He wasn’t big time. It was probably 20 years ago. We were on an England Sevens trip to Dubai. He had his aviators on, his bag over his shoulder, and one of the lads shouted “Dwayne!” and he literally just took his glasses down, gave us the People’s Eyebrow, and then just walked off. We were like, “What a legend!” I also met Will Smith at a movie premiere, and he went, “Hey man, you’re such a big guy.” I said, “Oh, actually, funny you should say that. Well, it’s a bit of a genetic issue, right?” And he said, “Oh my God, no!” I said, “No, I’m only joking. I’m absolutely stacked. I just eat my protein.” And he said, “You got me!” And then his security brushed me away. But it was fine. I think I’m quite emotionally tuned Fatherhood has given Haskell a different perspective on life beyond the game (Photo: Getty) One of the worst things men can do is put on bravado. Being emotional is very important. Having that balance is important. Having a kid teaches you to love in a completely different way. And it’s so primal. Everything about kids and family makes me reflect on my daughter. I was listening to a scene in Harry Potter, and it’s where George Weasley gets his ear blown off and his mum’s hugging him. And then it makes you reflect on how you would react if anything ever happened to your child. How would you reconcile it? I was lying in bed with a face mask on, and I was kind of crying, like tears, not sobbing, but just kind of welling up. I’m quite a controlled person. I live very practically day to day. I worry about what I can control. I worry about what I can control. But when someone comes in and goes, “Daddy, I love you,” it’s very discombobulating. I’ve thrown this emotional hand grenade in that keeps upsetting me. James Haskell is working with Tourism Western Australia as the ambassador for the Men’s Rugby World Cup 2027 countdown campaign.