In Utah’s Mountains, a Self-Help Skeptic Learns to Open Up

I’m sitting on the ground in a completely dark teepee, sweat dripping from every pore. The Shoshone chief next to me pours more water on the hot stones that are stacked in the middle of our circle of ten. There’s a hiss, then steam rises up with nowhere to escape, filling the space. Chief Darren Parry tells us a word, a prompt. One by one, we share. I’d planned to pass. But when it’s my turn, I find myself spilling out feelings I’d never shared with anyone—barely let myself even think about—with strangers I’d met less than 48 hours prior.An energy cleansing sage smudge at the resort Courtesy The Lodge at Blue SkyLeaves beginning to change color at The Lodge at Blue Sky Richard SchultzWhen the invitation came—to attend a wellness retreat in the mountains of Utah—I jumped at the chance. I’d been toying with the idea of a yoga retreat for months, and while this wasn’t exactly that (yoga was on the itinerary for just one morning), it was close enough to feel serendipitous. I couldn’t wait to get back out West, but the skeptic in me tempered my expectations.This retreat was to be led by spiritual self-help guide Gabby Bernstein, someone who sounded vaguely familiar to me but whom I couldn’t quite place. In general, I’m the opposite of whatever “woo woo” is, left-brained to my core. But I figured "why not" and that a weekend getaway at The Lodge at Blue Sky, Auberge Collection would be a form of self-help in itself.The recent Gabby Bernstein-led retreat at the resort. Karson BootheThe Lodge sits on over 4,000 acres of Utah mountain land, just outside of Park City, and is part of the Auberge Collection’s bespoke portfolio. This was my first time at an Auberge property and everyone kept telling me I was about to have my expectations heightened forever (they were right). Auberge’s VP of Wellbeing Vivianne Garcia-Tunon welcomed me to the tucked-away mountain retreat and set the tone for the weekend by filling me in on the tenets guiding the Collection’s wellness philosophy: awe, connect, excel, and nurture. The newest initiative, The Fundamentals Cultivating Joy, of which this retreat was a part, launched at the beginning of this year and was already woven into the brand’s DNA, or so it felt to me once I was in my Earth Suite.My view was nothing but purple mountains, deep green foliage, and the glow of my own personal fireplace on my own personal porch (a huge perk for this Manhattanite). Meanwhile, everything inside—the natural textures, the creams and browns, the shower bigger than my apartment kitchen—immediately invited me to take a deep breath and slow down.One of the resort's earth-hued guest spaces Read McKendreeIn keeping with this ethos, our itinerary for the weekend wasn’t packed, which I remarked upon to Vivianne, who said that was her hope for this new programming. The point wasn’t to experience every single activity the property had to offer (of which there were plenty) but instead to do what “called to you” and spend the rest of the time however you liked. So while I did the yoga and the hiking and the meditation, I also spent more than one early evening just reading on my porch, watching the light change from day to night and enjoying my own personal fireplace.A horseback ride on the resort's expansive grounds Noe DeWittEvery day, the forty of us who signed up for this retreat met up in the Arena, an expansive indoor space that was formerly used for horse-riding, for our two-hour workshop with Gabby. I had expected planned lectures and maybe some time for a Q&A or two, but what I didn’t expect was a simple conversation with an invitation to share, let alone the vulnerability and earnestness from our group during the sharing. I didn’t expect the variety in age or the variety in profession (small business owners, jewelry designers, financiers, teachers). What everyone had in common was their belief in Gabby, in her ability to guide and cut to the core of their pain or uncertainty. I certainly didn’t expect to be so deeply moved by what people were willing to share to a group of near strangers.Over the course of our sessions, I did the journaling, the meditating, the visualizing, the listening, and I felt myself allowing emotions to surface that I usually tried to avoid. A 20-minute meditation felt like a blink of an eye, and I felt calmer than I had in months (maybe years). But I couldn’t bring myself to share in those moments. Instead, I went off after to find my own joy in wellbeing—to meet the rescue horses on property, to be free of my phone on an afternoon hike, and to put the wellness in wellness retreat by getting a massage at the Edge Spa.The relaxation room at the property's spa Read McKendreeEvery Auberge property is unique—only the towels and sheets are similar–and so, too, are their wellness offerings. For example, this specific retreat with Gabby Bernstein was one-of-a-kind, the location hand-selected by Gabby herself. Also unique to The Lodge at Blue Sky? The traditional Shoshone Sweat Lodge.So I’m sitting there in complete darkness, dripping sweat, and listening as one, two, three and then more of my companions share painful stories from their pasts or bright hopes for their futures. Outside of the thick walls, I’m surrounded by trees, moose and elk, the peaks and valleys of the Wasatch range. Next is my turn. You know how this ends—I spill it all. “You came to cover this,” Gabby told me at our last session. “Instead, you got covered.” And I had been—by the sense of calm and peace I'd felt during the retreat, by a new openness to spirituality, by the sunrises, the purple mountains, and the open sky blanketed with stars. Consider me covered.