I’m a Latino Man Taking Steps to Prevent HIV. Here’s What Changed for Me

Hearst Owned5 min readIndividuals featured were compensated for their time. When I moved to New York for college just over a decade ago, like any young man I was still growing into the person I would become. That kind of statement might seem grandiose, but it’s true.I left my family in Colombia to build a new life. Between working in the fashion industry during the day and going to school at night, my busy schedule consumed my life. There wasn’t time for dates or hookups, let alone relationships.I was also a gay man who wasn’t “out” yet. I’d left a community where, at the time, being queer wasn’t openly talked about or widely accepted. Moving to New York introduced me to a very different environment. There was an openness at work and throughout the city that I hadn’t experienced before. It was welcoming of all lifestyles. I had queer coworkers and friends and was discovering New York’s gay bars and drag shows—and, for the first time, began to discover a part of myself I’d kept hidden for years.I eventually came out when I was 22. In some respects, I was coming out to myself as I came out to others. “Others” included my parents, who are still in Colombia.I called each of them separately. My father immediately told me he loved me and supported me. My mother did not. There wasn’t a fight. She had never understood why I left Colombia, and she couldn’t accept who I was or who I am. We haven’t spoken since.As I became more comfortable with who I was, I started learning how to take better care of myself.As difficult as that experience was, coming out also changed me. It showed me that something can be both uncomfortable and empowering at the same time.For the first time, I felt like I was building a life that was authentically mine. It was exciting, but I also began to realize that I hadn’t yet learned how to put myself first. I don’t mean that in a selfish way. Rather, as I became more comfortable with who I was, I started learning how to take better care of myself. I came to understand that looking after my health, including my sexual health, was a way of prioritizing myself.But first came the complicated part. I didn’t know what I didn’t know, and it took a sexually transmitted infection (STI) scare to even start figuring out how to take care of my health.I had met someone and slept with them. I’ll never forget the next day. I got a late-night text that said, “Hey, just so you know, I tested positive for X, Y, and Z.” In that moment, I realized I was sexually active but had never really taken the time to learn about preventing STIs or get tested.I had a photo shoot to attend in the morning and told myself I’d get tested afterward. But I couldn’t sleep and decided I had to drag myself out of the apartment and get tested at a 24-hour clinic.The doctor was kind, asked what happened, and asked if I knew how to avoid STIs. I knew the basics, but sitting in that clinic made me realize that I didn’t know enough. The doctor talked with me about ways to help prevent both HIV and other STIs, including considering using condoms. While everything turned out fine, the scare trickled through my life, making me realize I needed to be more mindful of how to help protect myself.In that moment, I realized I was sexually active but had never really taken the time to learn about STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections) or get tested.As we talked more broadly about my sexual health—including HIV and ways to help protect myself—the doctor recommended I learn more about HIV prevention options like PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis), which means routinely taking prescription medicine before you’re exposed to HIV to help reduce your chances of getting it. It’s almost hard not to know about PrEP now. The ads are everywhere. It’s in dating profiles. But even then, I knew it existed without really understanding what it could do for me. It took that moment for me to learn more about it and work with my healthcare provider to get on it. (Editor’s note: PrEP helps to prevent HIV but does not protect against other STIs, so be sure to use condoms and other healthy sex practices.)Maybe it sounds melodramatic, but those steps—getting on PrEP, committing to regular HIV testing, and continuing to practice other STI prevention strategies, including using condoms—were an important turning point for me. I knew I was taking steps to help protect myself against HIV as part of an overall prevention plan, and that helped to empower me as I was navigating relationships.So many things can happen in the moment when you’re on a date. There’s something powerful in knowing you’ve already taken action to help protect your sexual health.What PrEP Makes PossibleHIV prevention options like PrEP can be a significant part of helping to protect your sexual health, says Namrata Shah, MD, an infectious disease staff physician and medical director of research at The Institute for Health Research & Policy at Whitman Walker Health in Washington, D.C.“What we know from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is that estimated new HIV infections in the U.S. declined 12 percent between 2018 and 2022,” Dr. Shah says. “But there were still an estimated 31,800 new HIV infections in 2022, which means we’re still falling short.”There are many people who could benefit from HIV prevention options like PrEP, Dr. Shah notes, including individuals who’ve had vaginal or anal sex in the last six months, people who don’t consistently use condoms, and those who don’t know their partner’s sexual health history.PrEP has evolved since it first became available. There are now options for men and women, including daily oral pills and long-acting injectable options. That’s why it’s worth talking with a healthcare provider about the different approaches. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution, but rather options that can help to fit your lifestyle.“The best HIV prevention strategy is the one that a person can actually use,” Dr. Shah says. In other words, the right option is the one that works for your lifestyle. For instance, injectable PrEP could be a great option for individuals who have privacy concerns about having pills at home or who struggle with remembering to take a daily pill.It’s easier than ever to have conversations about HIV prevention options like PrEP with a health care provider, Dr. Shah adds. “This needs to be a routine conversation similar to how we talk about diabetes prevention, hypertension, or vaccinations,” Dr. Shah explains. “HIV prevention should be part of that conversation. I don’t think it belongs in a separate category at all.”Hearing about those options was one thing; deciding what was right for me was another. Knowing my options helped give me a new level of comfort with being myself. I was out. I felt ready to explore relationships. I felt empowered after learning about my HIV prevention options.I won’t call it a safety net, because that’s not accurate. Instead, PrEP is one part of my overall HIV prevention strategy, along with regular HIV testing and other prevention measures, including condoms. Together, they help me take a proactive approach to protecting my sexual health.And now, I date knowing I’m taking steps to help protect my sexual health—something I couldn’t have imagined when I first arrived in New York a decade ago.