I spent a week cooking 70s meals for my family – they did not go down well

Pineapple with sausages? Pasta in pudding? One recipe is essentially just chicken and half a pint of mayonnaise (Picture: Jess Austin/Metro) ‘I can’t do this anymore’, my husband Jack says to me on Thursday night, over dinner. ‘Count me out’. Thankfully, he’s not asking for a divorce. He is, however, officially withdrawing from my week-long culinary experiment: seven days of 70s meals for me and my family. I’ve always longed cook my way through a much-loved tome, learning new techniques and soaking up all the delicious aromas swirling around my kitchen. I suppose, if I wanted fine cuisine, I should have opted for a different decade. I’d heard enough of my mum’s stories, and seen enough TikToks, to know that 70s food is rogue. Flipping through Hamlyn’s All Colour Cookbook, I did endless double takes. Pineapple with sausages? Pasta in pudding? One recipe is essentially just chicken and half a pint of mayonnaise. There is so much aspic. I bookmarked so many pages (Picture: Jess Austin) Despite this, I was excited. This cookbook has sold over 2.5million copies and is seen as Mary Berry’s debut. She’s one of three authors – with Ann Body and Audrey Ellis writing the rest. Mary’s is the opening section and she introduces the book. Ask Metro Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about – powered by Metro and trusted publications. ‘I, and the other contributors – busy housewives ourselves – realise how important it is to streamline cooking chores whenever possible to the minimum’, she writes. Food science and culinary history expert Dr Sue Bailey explains why this ethos made the book such a hit. ‘The chapters were designed to match lifestyle needs. Mary Berry with her children (Picture: Hart/Evening News/Shutterstock) ‘In the 70s, women were looking for time-saving shortcuts; seven years prior to the book’s publication, only 3% of households had a freezer and 30% had a fridge, so tinned and powdered substitutes were happily adopted’. On top of that, Dr Bailey explains that families were also travelling more and were keen to replicate dishes that they had tried abroad, such as lasagna and moussaka. She remembers fondly a chicken and mushroom cobbler, made of a simple white sauce with a plain scone topping. That sounds delicious and I would like to add a disclaimer that this book is full of genuinely tasty-looking recipes – braised lamb with apricots, chicken and mushroom pie, and of course Mary Berry’s bakes – but I have largely opted for chaos. Day 1: Roast chicken with almonds The chicken is succulent (Picture: Jess Austin) I decided, for my family’s sake – and also to get them on board – to ease them in before unleashing full nostalgia on them. It’s Sunday, and so I’ve decided to go for a roast. My mum and her partner are round and are poring over the book, reminiscing about how their posh mate’s mum would knock up some of these dishes. As I baste the chicken, I hear squeals of delight from the next room: ‘Syllabub! Lamb cobbler! Curried egg salad!’. This recipe consists of chicken, garlic, onion, lemon, butter, blanched almonds (which I learn how to do through the quick tips at the bottom of each page), button onions, brown sugar, new potatoes (or canned potatoes but I opt for the former), and watercress. These are all nice ingredients and unsurprisingly, the dish is nice, too. The almonds add a lovely crunch and it’s incredibly juicy. It’s left me optimistic for the week ahead. My mum and her partner are very complimentary, while Jack thinks the nuts are redundant. I know he will be hard to please. Day 2: Monday pie To be fair to the recipe, I probably shouldn’t have cooked it in a cake tin (Picture: Jess Austin) Tonight, it’s just me and Jack (our 1-year-old is exempt from the challenge) and I’m luring him in with a false sense of security. It’s Monday pie, which is essentially a simplified shepherd’s pie of lamb mince, mushrooms and onion. I have to buy beef dripping for the first time in my life. I cook it in a cake tin because I don’t have another appropriate receptacle and some of the juices leak out. I think this is why it ends up slightly bland. Day 3: Cornish ham pudding Despite its name, this is not dessert – although it is so sweet that it could be (Picture: Jess Austin) This is when things start to take a turn. I basically make white bread ham and tomato sandwiches (fun fact, white bread consumption has decreased by 75% since 1974), before covering them in a savoury ‘custard’ for baking. ‘Schloop’, is the only way I can describe the sound it makes as I ladle the meal onto plates. Jack looks visibly nauseous and says he is disgusted before even taking a bite. I laugh but I’m nervous. I Tried I Tried is Metro's new weekend series where our reporters test out different trends, products and challenges to help our readers decide whether they want to, too. We'll be covering recipes, workouts, beauty, fashion, sleep, health, money and other issues that matter to you. If you have a suggestion, please email jess.austin@metro.co.uk. The texture is gelatinous, bar the odd crispy bite from the toasted edges of the bread. It is very, very sweet. I realise my palate isn’t that sophisticated as I don’t mind it that much, but Jack is in a state of despair and tips his plate into the food recycling bin. It’s the first – but not the last – time an emergency oven pizza makes an appearance this week. Day 4: Farmer’s wife omelette I messed up the recipe, clearly (Picture: Jess Austin) Trying to roll it back, I opt for the ‘farmer’s wife omelette’, which a farmer’s wife we know has confirmed, isn’t a thing. Either way, it sounds and looks appealing. Onion, tomatoes, bacon, butter, eggs, peas – delish. Surprise, it also has macaroni in it. I try and fail to get it to solidify into an omelette and it ends up more ‘scrambled eggs inexplicably featuring pasta’ but it isn’t bad and we finish the lot. Day 5:Spinach cups and stuffed peppers I wish I had 70s plates now (Picture: Jess Austin) Deciding I must do everything I can to find something delicious, I opt for lunch and dinner. My mum’s partner told me spinach cups were a staple of dinner parties so I get to work. White bread, spinach, cottage cheese, eggs, parmesan, powdered milk, paprika, a decorative tomato – what could go wrong? You know what? I would eat them again. The broccoli and spinach weren’t in the recipe (Picture: Jess Austin) It was the stuffed peppers that broke Jack. Going into it, I honestly thought this would be one of the better dishes. Peppers filled with anchovies, black olives and garlic, cooked in a can of tomato soup. The minute the incredibly salty combination hit Jack’s lips, he declared that he was done with the experiment and once again, reached for the emergency pizza. Because I am a journalist of integrity, I finished every last bite before sinking a pint of water. Day 6: Fried sardine sandwiches and curry and rice ring I was too busy gagging to take a picture of the finished product (Picture: Jess Austin) Now that I no longer have to factor in Jack’s feelings, I decide to go full out. This fried sardine sandwich is the worst dish of all. The filling of peanut butter mixed with sardine oil, mashed fish and scrambled egg might seem bad enough. Then you baste it in an eggy-bread mixture and pan fry it until crispy. I nearly throw up, as does my sister-in-law who pops round for lunch with a friend. He, however, thinks it is delightful and says he would have it again. We both look at him with concern. It’s not quite a lamb dhansak (Picture: Jess Austin) I love a curry on a Friday night. However, I usually opt for a lamb dhansak, not a chicken, bacon and banana one. It sounds like Elvis’ dream. The sauce is made with packet white sauce mix and curry powder. Alas, I do not have a ring mould to put the rice in and complete the 70s vision. But you know what, it’s actually pretty lovely. Ok, lovely might be a stretch but I am so far removed from normal food now that I am considering cooking this again in the future. The banana (?!?) is subtle and compliments the salty bacon, with the white sauce carrying the curry powder flavour well. I tempt Jack into a mouthful and he goes back for a second. Success! Day 7 – Crunchy topped fish bake Don’t worry, it’s not cooked yet (Picture: Jess Austin) This is the meal I have been looking forward to from the start: Crunchy topped fish bake. Plaice fillets (couldn’t get them anywhere so opted for cod) covered in a cheese and condensed mushroom soup, onion, Worcester sauce, garlic salt and a packet of crisps. Jack shows the recipe to ChatGPT who proceeds to roast me (I didn’t realise AI could be so brutal) and uses the tool to made his own cod recipe. AI suggested he should fry his in butter, garlic and lemon – BORING! (Picture: Jess Austin) It was perfection (Picture: Jess Austin) But mine turns out far far better. It is delicious – comforting, cheesy, with a delicious crunch from the crisps. I would 100% make this dish again and salute Ann Body for her genius. It’s the end of the week and despite the very limited success rate, I want to keep going. Pasta shells cooked in milk and chocolate powder, covered in meringue is calling my name. I just know this book is full of gems – otherwise why would my mother-in-law have kept it on her shelves for all these years? – and I’m determined to find them. Deals of the Day The Orlando holiday deal Disney fans shouldn't miss We're adding this discounted NEOM gift set straight to basket Want an LED face mask for less? This Black Friday deal could save you hundreds This teeth whitening sale could save you up to 64% before Black Friday These Simba Black Friday deals are too good for tired shoppers to ignore But maybe I’ll avoid the aspic. Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. Share your views in the comments below. 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