How Dolly Parton’s songs taught me to take care of my wellbeing

This week we experienced the sad death of Dolly Parton. Millions of people around the world have been remembering her incredible career and talent, her values and approach to life, and her immense sense of philanthropy, as well as her sense of fun and occasion. She was truly a remarkable individual. Such role models and inspirational mentors don’t come along often, especially in public life. What was exceptional about Dolly is that she brought people together across many apparent divides through her songs and the way she lived her life; and it seems she has done the same in death. Music has a special way of doing that, and musical artists even more so, if they recognise that opportunity. We will all have suffered loss in our lives; someone who inspired us, who gave us the strength to carry on in times of trouble, who enabled us to express how we feel, who made us smile when we were sad, and who we learned from. When anyone in the public eye dies, we naturally tend to reflect on those nearer to home whom we have lost, and on the life lessons they have gifted us. Shorts You will all have your own memories of Dolly Parton, but here are some wellbeing lessons that I have taken from her songs, her words and from the way she lived her life. Work attitude The first Dolly Parton song I became aware of was “9 to 5” and at a young age I loved how fun the rhythm was. As I got older, I started to focus more on the lyrics and their meaning. That song emphasises to us all that work can get monotonous and that we need to protect ourselves from the burnout that it can bring. We need to realise that we are not machines, and that we need to look after ourselves and create balance. It makes us realise that no matter what obstacles we come across, we must protect our dreams despite the daily grind. It teaches us to stand up for what is important to us, and encourages us all to retain a sense of ambition. As Dolly once said, “Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life”. Purpose and legacy Dolly Parton will not be forgotten because her life touched so many other people’s not just through her music, but through her philanthropy. This truly is the definition of legacy. We all need to develop a strong understanding of our life purpose. That doesn’t need to be grand or big, it just has to be the answer to that question of why we are here. We can all define this if we take the time to reflect upon it. Research has shown that we have a longer life span and more satisfaction in life is we have a sense of purpose. Dolly’s song “Shine” has beautiful lyrics that encourage us to listen to our intuition, to open our eyes and to sometimes be open to asking life to show us the way. She sings about the role that love plays in purpose and legacy; and how true is it that if we make our decisions based in love rather than fear, things tend to work out better for everyone. She once said, “My dream was always to make as many people happy as I could in this life”. Materialism and values “Coat of Many Colors” always makes me cry. It carries within it probably one of the most important life lessons; realising what truly makes us fortunate is unconditional love, rather than materialistic things. Dolly tells the story of how her mother stitched her rag coat together with true love and how it was her most prized possession. Others judged and laughed at her coat, because they couldn’t understand the value of it went way beyond any fashion or monetary accolade. We are reminded that at the end of the day, it is the love that surrounds us that is of true value. Science is not always needed to prove things that we know to be true, but research does indeed back this up and our relationships are the most important determinant of our wellbeing rather than the things we own. In her own words, “I’m very real where it counts, and that’s inside”. Dolly Parton, Lily Tomlin, and Jane Fonda (left to right) at the premiere of ‘9 To 5’ (Photo: Richard Drew/AP) Love and gratitude “Love is like a butterfly” is an important reminder of the fragility of love and how we need to appreciate it every day. True unconditional love is rare and gentle; relationships that demand things of us or depend on us being a certain way are not healthy. It reminds us to be grateful for that feeling, not to become complacent, take our relationships for granted, or get lazy in them. Relationships take work, they need to be nurtured, to be protected, and they are two-way if they are going to last. Take a moment to think about the relationships in your life and where you need to invest some time and energy. She is quoted as once saying: “Love is the answer to all of it”. Don’t forget the fun Dolly Parton was a great storyteller and could conjure up visuals, smells, sights and much more with her songwriting. She also wove a lot of fun into her music, and one song that embodies that for me is “Applejack”. Life can get hard and it is easy to let the heavy get on top of you, but this song makes you smile right from the start, and if you want to feel lighter and happier this is guaranteed to do the trick. Science tells us smiling, laughter and good feelings keep us well, reduces our blood pressure and lowers our heart rate and stress hormone levels. This song always reminds me that whatever is happening in life, small things lighten the load, and we can build our resilience by trying to keep a smile on our faces. As she said, “I always thought if you see somebody without a smile, give ’em yours”.