El Jalapeño: Mexico blasts France for delay in returning a book it borrowed 166 years ago

All stories in El Jalapeño are satire and not real news. Check out the original article here. A cross-Atlantic rift is developing as Mexican cultural officials have accused counterparts in France of borrowing a book and not returning it for 166 years. In a harshly worded statement, Emiliano Muñoz of Mexico’s National Institute of Anthropology and History (INAH) has accused the National Library of France of perfectly personifying Charles Lamb’s description of book borrowers as “mutilators of collections and spoilers of the symmetry of shelves.” The Azcatitlan Codex is currently on display at Mexico’s National Museum of Anthropology in Mexico City, after being “borrowed” by France for the past 166 years. (Gerardo Peña / INAH) Muñoz confirmed that repeated pleas by INAH for the National Library of France to return the Azcatitlan Codex — a priceless Mexica codex which it has possessed since the late 19th century — were always met with assurances that it intended to. But “something always came up.” “That excuse is good for 70, maybe 80 years,” Muñoz said. “But once you hit 16 decades, it suggests bad faith.” He also addressed France’s earlier assertion that it assumed the book was a gift. “Come on!” said an exasperated Muñoz. “You take a book from a friend’s house, you bring it back. That’s how it works. The fact that nobody ever does is no excuse.” Reached for comment via WhatsApp, Jean-Luc Pierre-François de la Tour-du-Pin Baguette-Chauchard, director of the National Library of France, posted an eye-rolling emoji before countering the assertion: “It’s not like Mexico is a spotless borrower,” he said. “We sent them an emperor who wasn’t even ours to lend. And did they return him? No! They shot him.” “Besides,” added Tour-du-Pin Baguette-Chauchard. “I never read the book. You know why? There were no words in it. It was a picture book. Sacré bleu!” With no détente in sight, Muñoz said INAH will seek a new book-exchange partner who won’t spoil the symmetry of its shelves. “The National Library of France is lucky we’re not holding them to their own regulations,” Muñoz pointed out. “Or they would owe us €68 million in late fees.” Check out our Jalapeño archive here. Got an idea for a Jalapeño article? Email us with your suggestions!