8 old-fashioned Southern etiquette rules are still relevant today

Honoring proper etiquette rules and manners is an easy way to win people over and make new friends in a social setting. In Southern culture, social etiquette has deep roots. Southerners follow many social constructs that help them earn a reputation as respectful guests, neighbors, or friends—especially in the eyes of a host. Minding your manners is usually easier than you think. While etiquette rules often come and go, these eight old-fashioned Southern etiquette rules still hold value today and garner appreciation by Southern friends and family. Rule #1: Stand up when introducing yourself Making a good first impression is important. Standing to meet someone for the first time also shows confidence, etiquette expert Patricia Rossi, author of Everyday Etiquette, explained on Instagram. She added that standing when greeting someone shows respect for yourself and the other person. Rule #2: Bring a hostess gift If you’ve been invited to a house party or dinner at a friend’s home, don’t show up empty-handed. Always bring a hostess (or host) gift along to show your appreciation. “It doesn’t have to be a million dollars. Bring a candle, chocolates, something that they like,” Rossi shared. Or consider bringing a “morning after” gift they can use the following morning, such as muffins, pancake mix, or special coffee. Rule #3: Never return a dish empty When returning a casserole dish, loaf tin, or other dish to the person who blessed you with something delicious, Southerners never leave it empty. Known as a “Southern happy” or “surcie,” according to Southern Living, filling it with cookies or another edible treat is like saying “thank you” without the note. An Instagram account run by a Mississippi native who educates people on Southern culture added: “Puppy chow, cookies, a little treat, even a sweet thank-you note will do. The point is reciprocity: somebody thought of you, so you acknowledge the kindness.” Rule #4: Always send a handwritten thank-you note After a party, a gift, or a favor, sending a text is not the Southern way to say thanks. A personal handwritten thank-you note shows genuine appreciation. “A thank you note isn’t about perfect handwriting or fancy words—it’s about taking the time to make someone feel appreciated and truly learning gratitude,” Beverly Sumner, founder and lead instructor of Lowcountry Etiquette, explained on Instagram. Rule #5: RSVP in a timely manner Making sure to RSVP (which stands for the French phrase répondez s’il vous plaît) remains of utmost importance, Southern Living editor Mary Shannon Wells explained. This old-fashioned etiquette rule still matters today. “The reason I get so ‘bunched up,’ as my mom would say, over the whole thing is that it comes down to a lack of respect for the hosts and the honorees of the party,” said Wells. “If you don’t RSVP, they won’t know the proper amount of food, drinks, party favors, etc. to have ready. They might waste time and money on preparing for you to be a guest all for you to no-show.” Rule #6: Come prepared with kind words for a toast and small talk When attending parties, Gayden Metcalfe and Charlotte Hays told Southern Living that guests should “always come prepared with a few nice things to say” in case a toast is necessary. Metcalfe added that her mother used to tell her before leaving for a party, “You are not invited to this party because they think you’re hungry or you’re thirsty. You’re invited to add something to the party.” Hays noted, “It is your obligation to make conversation.” Rule #7: Always ask if you should remove your shoes When visiting someone’s home or apartment, it’s courteous to ask the host about their shoe policy. “When you’re entering someone’s home, ask if they would like for you to remove your shoes before you step inside,” Elaine Swann, a lifestyle and etiquette expert and founder of The Swann School of Protocol, told Southern Living. Rule #8: Don’t ‘yuck’ someone’s ‘yum‘ Whether you’re at a restaurant or enjoying a meal prepared by a loved one, be sure to avoid comments such as “yuck” if you don’t wish to try a certain dish. “A simple no thank you, or no comment, as someone enjoys something that you wouldn’t enjoy yourself, is much more polite,” Alison M. Cheperdak, J.D., etiquette expert and founder of Elevate Etiquette, shared on Instagram.